Tuesday, 12 August 2014

Why I Won't Ever go Back to Being an MRA



Do men have legitimate issues that need to be addressed? Of course they do. Men have the short end of the stick in many important areas such as incarceration, parental rights, the family court systems, and mental health, just to name a few. Men need to be represented and advocated for in these areas, but the current movement which claims to advocate for them, the Mens Rights Movement, does little to help men struggling with these unjust and severely biased systems.

After the first annual men’s conference hosted by A Voice for Men, it was clear, to anyone that took the time to watch their speakers, that most of their time and energy is spent on badmouthing feminism and gleefully cheering when someone calls feminists nasty names. Hardly productive for any movement that purports to be part of the human rights movement or to genuinely care about men and the issues that affect them. 

I have said it before, men who are suffering now, right at this very moment could care less about the childish bitching the MRM does in regards to who or what is responsible for their current predicament. These men are looking for real life help now. Not tomorrow, not next week, next year, or 10+ years from now. These are men teetering on the edge, and looking for any sign of hope for their future, and the MRM is ignoring them by not doing anything real or productive to provide them any hope or make any promises for any possible change to their current situations.

The straight up refusal of the MRM, mostly the self-proclaimed leader of the MRM, A Voice for Men, to work within current political systems to provide men with real life resources and outreach programs, because they prefer to wait for the downfall of the government, is ludicrous, and only an excuse for them to do absolutely nothing while pretending they actually do. 

The amount of money that AVFM pulls in each year is more than enough to start making real life changes in mens lives, yet nothing has ever materialized, except for Paul Elam’s admission that he keeps all the donations for himself, which I had said was happening well before he came out to admit it because he had been cornered on the subject by the likes of Adam Serwer from MSNBC.

The fact is, without feminism and all the infighting, people like Paul Elam would lose their meal tickets. Feminism has done wonders for people like Elam. It has provided them with the perfect podium from which to spout their rhetoric and hand out empty platitudes while cashing in on the suffering masses looking for any sense of validation for their perceived victimization at the hands of the “evil womenz”.

It’s the mantra that permeates the MRM – That everything bad that happens to men is because of feminism and women, and those who are trying to cope with their unfortunate circumstances buy it hook line and sinker. It’s easy to sell a leaky life ring to a drowning man. The problem is it won’t save him, but only prolongs his suffering until he inevitably sinks and drowns.

I have not, and never have denied that many men are suffering in our society today. Probably more so than the average woman here in the western world. Men do not hold all the cards anymore and are truly suffering in many ways. But the MRM, in it’s current state, is not the solution, nor will it ever be unless some serious changes are made to how the MRM handles the serious issues that affect men. 

There needs to be more real life activism, and not just random people going around hanging up inflammatory posters, or writing satirical articles that really are not that satirical in nature, or dredging up history with inflated statistics and skewed facts. 

Men need to start physically standing outside prisons and demanding change. They need to start lobbying the government for funding for men’s shelters and outreach programs. VAWA funds are actually available for men’s shelters and programs as well, but no one in the MRM wants to apply for it because it would mean working with the government and feminists. The MRM needs to start picketing family courts and organizing with those who are professionals in the field of family law to fight for change. They need to start getting their hands dirty and putting themselves out there, for real, for the benefit of other men and stop focusing on a utopia that just isn’t and will never be. 

One thing feminism got right was how they fought, in real life, for the things they wanted. They stood up and demanded change, and they fought tooth and nail for it. They got their hands dirty and didn’t stop. They worked within the current systems of their time to enact change, and they were not opposed to working with the ‘enemy’ in order to make those changes.

The MRM is only the mirror image of mainstream wannabe feminism today. It is nothing but a bunch of people who really aren’t interested in making anyone’s lives better. Their bottom line is how much money they can make off the backs of those who are hurting. It’s a movement based on taking advantage of others, and giving nothing of real value back in return. 

My son, my husband, my brother, and all the other men in my life that I love or care about deserve so much more than what the MRM currently has to offer. I for one will not insult them by being a part of a movement that makes a mockery of men and the issues that affect them. I will not be part of a movement that seeks to exploit them and that feeds off their pain and suffering. I will not be part of a movement that puts their own beliefs and ideology before other men’s well-being. I care too much about them and men in general, to be that cruel and uncaring. I believe men deserve so much more than the childish antics and empty platitudes the MRM has to offer. To be a part of that would be a slap in the face to any man I care about.

Until things change men will still suffer at the hands of both feminism and the MRM. People need to stop flaming and bitching about the other side and get some real work done. Until that happens the sad truth is that men will continue to be left by the wayside and forgotten. They will continue to be the casualties of this childish war between these two inept movements. And I am sure that is not very comforting to the man living on the streets, or the man who cannot see his children, or the man who is right now, this very moment, taking his own life because he has no hope left.